GONE HOME

This game felt like an extended hide-and-seek. Katie returns home from being overseas and discovers that her family’s lives have changed. Her younger sister, Sam, has gone through several emotions including adaptation, confusion, anger, and even love. For her age, 17, all of these emotions are new to her. As Katie moves around the family home, some materials coincide with Sam’s journey of discovering who she is, and her parents are also going through changes. Change is inevitable and continuous. We will discover ourselves numerous times in our lives.

RIOT GRRRL

According to Western society, women and girls are to be dainty, shy, soft-spoken, weak, and always loving. Deviating from these forced traits is scolded by society. Riot Grrrl is not afraid to be scolded, and their revolution encourages females to live unapologetically.

CONNECTIONS

Audre Lorde’s text incorporates Martin Luther King Jr’s concept of how silence is betrayal. To be silent in times when it could positively impact an outcome is a betrayal to not just others but yourself. Being silent when you know you want to speak your mind is not being true to yourself. Your time on earth could end at any moment, and with your last breath, you will regret the times you did not speak up. Being afraid is natural, but we should not let that fear deter us. The words we choose to speak could be the words others want to speak as well as the words needed to create change.

“I was going to die, if not sooner than later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.” (Audre Lorde, 1977, p.41)

The Riot Grrrl movement and manifesto also emphasize speaking up. The accepted societal views on how females should behave are unacceptable. Riot Grrl uses their voices. They seem loud and angry, and that is because they are. Enough is enough when it comes to society trying to dictate women’s every move, thoughts, and feelings. It does not work like that. I will not work like that.

In Gone Home, there are materials placed throughout the home that we can use to conclude Sam has been trying to find herself. Sam is nonconforming to what society believes about females being attracted to only males. She has discovered that she likes her female friend more, and they both feel like they are revolting against what society made acceptable. Sam even has a Riot Grrrl poster and music is played in the game.

 “The future of our earth may depend upon the ability of all women to identify and develop new definitions of power and new patterns of relating across differences.” (Audre Lorde, 1980, p.123)

This quote from another one of Audre Loude’s texts – “Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference” stresses the importance of discovery when it comes to self-identification and gaining power or confidence. As it relates to Riot Grrl, this quote means standing up for what you believe in and not letting anyone take away your voice just because you are different. The world is becoming more diverse every day, and by speaking up, we can create a world that acknowledges and accepts our differences instead of belittling them. With Gone Home, this quote would likely resonate with Sam on her journey for self-discovery.

Research Essay Topics

Topics that I find interesting and could enjoy relating to gender studies include Art and Sports. Women artists (in every medium) are underpaid and underappreciated. The same can be said for female athletes.

Reference

Audre Lorde (1977), “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”

Audre Lorde (1980), “Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference”

Kathleen Hanna (1991), “Riot Grrrl Manifesto”

I chose to watch the game, Gone Home. I initially did not understand how the game was played but quickly caught on. It didn’t feel like a game to me. It was more like an interactive audio book. I liked it. There was a lot going on in the game. Dad had lost his primary source of income and had shut down from his wife. He wasn’t talking to her and she was sharing her concerns with her friend. What I did notice is that everyone wrote letters and barely talked. The silence and lack of communication made me think of Lorde’s statement in. Audre Lorde (1977), “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”, “And I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect.”(p. 40). Dad wasn’t speaking about what was not speaking about what was important to him. Mom was not speaking of what was important to her. And Sam was not speaking of what was important to her. However, she did talk to her parents (even at the risk of hiving it bruised or misunderstood) after all her parent’s told her “You are not old enough to know what you want!” “It’s just a phase!” It is my belief that a lot of people who live a life differently from the “norm” silently go through what Sam was going through within her home. Sam didn’t quite know what she was feeling initially but she knew it was something different. She knew her parents did NOT understand what she was going through. The parents, as many of us parents are, think that it’s a phase and are in denial about what is right before our eyes. They didn’t want to accept that their daughter was not who they wanted her to be.

When Sam started at the new school. She introduced herself to everyone and told where she lives. There was a crumbled up letter from one of the other students, that made me think of Notes on a Sociology of Bullying by CJ Pascoe. Pascoe says, “Young people get bullied for a variety of reasons.” (p. 90). The fact that Sam lived in the “creepy house” began the bullying but as she and Lonnie began their relationship and Sam stated “everyone at school knows about us” and “Lonnie stood up for her at school” made me think that the bullying continued because of their relationship.

Lonnie and Sam’s relationship made me think of Kathleen Hanna (1991), “Riot Girl Manifesto” “BECAUSE we know that life is much more than physical survival and are patently aware that the punk rock “you can do anything” idea is crucial to the coming angry grrrl rock revolution which seeks to save the psychic and cultural lives of girls and women everywhere, according to their own terms, not ours.”

Lonnie reminded me of Bikini Kill (1993), Rebel Girl and she was Sam’s Role Model from the song. I also felt that Sam and her parent’s relationship was strained and she expressed herself well in her creative writing. Sam’s story of Captain Allegra and her First Mate (Lonnie) made me think of X-Ray Spex (1977), “Oh Bondage! Up Yours!” Throughout the game, there were glimpses of Women heros and leaders and she was fighting against patriarchy.

I thought about when bell hooks said in ,“Feminism is For Everybody”, “To end patriarchy (another way of naming the institutionalized sexism) we need to be clear that we are all participants in perpetuating sexism until we change our minds and hearts, until we let go of sexist thought and action and replace it with feminist thought and action.” (ix). Sam’s writing about Captain Allegra was her way of fighting for feminist rights. Women couldn’t be heroes or leaders.

Sam’s journal entry about “I don’t get Lonnie” was interesting because although Lonnie was rebellious, she was also willing to allow herself to follow the rules and authority to be in the military. For a second, I thought Sam was contemplating suicide because she couldn’t imagine her life without Lonnie and I thought of Sam as a Damsel in Distress but her writing was all about women in Power.

In the end, Sam followed her heart. Sam cared for herself. Audre Lorde says in “Thought of Self-Care as an Act of Political Warfare, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” She didn’t keep silent, she spoke her truth verbally. Sam spoke her truth in writing, and she followed her heart. She stood her ground. In her creative writing, she showed that WOMEN can be leaders and whatever and whoever they want to be!

I’m not quite sure as to what I am going to research. I am thinking about the Queer Umbrella, Drag Culture, or exploring more about the Damsel in Distress in video games and television.

Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining difference

One quote that really caught my attention was at the very end of the passage which was, “Change means growth, and growth can be painful. But we sharpen self-definition by exposing the self in work and struggle together with those whom we define as different from ourselves, although sharing the same goals. For Black and white, old and young, lesbian and heterosexual women alike, this can mean new paths to our survival.” It is a very powerful quote. Although it doesn’t summarize the passage it was quite an interesting quote. What I believe the main purpose of the passage was to emphasize the harshness that black women go through.

The Combahee River Collective Statement

This passages main purpose was about a collective of black feminists since 1974. It was also about what they believed in, the problems they had, and projects they did.

So you want to talk about race

This video talks about the struggles and the good things she went through in her life.

Connection

The connection I saw was that they each had to deal with black women just in different ways.

Question

Does your race go through any struggles?

After watching Gone Girl on youtube, I enjoyed watching this game’s gameplay. At first, I was skeptical, but it all turned out well. I initially dismissed it because I assumed it was a horror game, but once I realized it was a story-based game with numerous plot points, I was hooked. I wish there were more games like this. I fall asleep listening to the soundtrack when watching it on YouTube. The sweetness and low-point anxiety that slowly rises and then sinks complement each other well. This is an excellent game that surprised me. We need more games like this.

“Riot Grrrl Manifesto” by Kathleen Hanna

“Us girls crave records and books and fanzines that speak to US that WE feel included in and can understand in our ways,” she wrote in 1991 in the Riot Grrrl Manifesto. Because we want to make it easier for girls to see/hear each other’s work. Not only because of its feminist, anti-capitalist politics, the Riot Grrrl movement feels like one of the last true revolutions in rock and punk. As Polyphonic explains in his short music history video, Riot Grrrl was one of the last major events in rock music before the internet. And it’s even more exciting because it all started with women in the punk scene having a right to complain. Bands and their fans were predominantly male, and sexual harassment was common.

Research Essay Topics:

After Brain Storming on different topics, the topics that I have decided to do is to talk about mental health and possibly gender identity. I am thinking about how some people’s gender identity affects their mental health because I know there is a lot to go through. Some people don’t know how to act and bully others because they identify with something they don’t agree with. And doing this can affect people’s mental health because of all the online bullying.

From watching the video game Gone Girl played on Youtube, I really enjoyed watching the video game played as well as the storyline. When I first started watching the video game being played, it kind of gave me a sense of crime solving because of everything being picked up and examined at a closer look and the distressed voicemail left on the answering machine. There was documents, boxes and other items laid out that gave the impression that the house seemed to be abandon at the last minute. As I continued to watch, I started to notice that there was this disconnect between the family that really took a tool on everyone after moving into their new home. However, despite the disconnect and the weird/creepy vibe of the game, Sam journal does offer an interesting yet meaningful depiction of her personal life. The love story between Sam and Lonnie was amazing to watch and see the transformation of their relationship.

Upon reading this week’s reading material, I found one quote that I think really sets the scene when it comes to Sam and Lonnie relationship and the ups and downs they went through. The quote from “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde states that “We can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. For we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definitions, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness the weight of that silence will choke us”. I think this relates to the game because it shows that even though their parents weren’t accepting of their sexuality, their love for each other never stopped growing.

A couple ideas I would like to explore in my research essay would be economics and pay inequity, Reproductive justice and sports. I want to explore the differences and similarities of women and men in these topics and explain ways that we can improve or better society or individuals when it comes to discussing these topics.

Resources:

Lorde, A. (2017). “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action” (1977). University of Pittsburgh Press EBooks, 302–305. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt5hjqnj.51

Gone Home.

Gone Home game was similar to a book I read in elementary school, I don’t recall the name of the books, but they had videos that went with them that was similar to this game. I ended up watching the game due to me being a little too tired to actually play the game. I expected it to be a story behind the game because of the name I just wasn’t sure of what the story line what it would be. I like the story line of how Katie arrived how and noticed no one was home. She didn’t and couldn’t understand why her sister ran away and where her parents where, so she had to take it upon herself and figure it out.

“RIOT GRRRL MANIFESTO”

In the 1990’s a band was created by Washington State band Bikini Kill and Lead singer Kathleen Hanna. This band was created to show women empowerment to show everyone that women are allowed to do whatever they please just like men are. The Riot GRRRL Manifest stated, ” BECAUSE we are angry at a society that tells us Girl = Dumb, Girl = Bad, Girl = Weak.” I 100% support what was being said right here because men and also the government look at women as weak minded and we are not. Us women are stronger than half of these men.

I only use to play video games as a kid, now I play like building games or candy crush when I have the time but typically, I never do.

Research Ideas

A few more things I would like to research on is why do men feel just because a woman is wearing those type of clothes that she wants him to touch on her. I just hate when people try to blame the rape victim especially because of what she got on.

Sexuality artifact

Queer Artifact

Video Game: Gone Home

I chose to watch the video game on YouTube instead of playing it myself because not only am I a gamer or someone who plays video games for fun, but I get severely nauseated while playing. I felt good watching the game on YouTube and it didn’t affect my sensory balance as much. The video game was interesting to watch and very suspenseful because as soon as I saw Sam’s letter to her sister, Katie, I wanted to find out how and what led to that moment. I enjoyed how the video game teaches you a little bit about each person in the family and it adds more substance to the story. I felt like I was Katie trying to find clues about Sam and where the parents went. The house looked like everyone (Sam, Janice, and Terry) was in a rush and had to leave the home immediately. The quietness of the game, besides Sam’s occasional voice, made me sit on the edge of my seat even more. I loved how the story slowly unraveled and how it revealed that Sam and Lonnie had feelings for each other. It was sad to see how Sam felt about her parents not accepting of her relationship with Lonnie because they wanted her to be with a boy.

The Riot Grrrl Movement

The Riot Grrrl movement was very powerful and made its mark on people across the world. It showed feminism in a different light and proved that feminism is about more than just being a woman. Feminist doesn’t have one look and there are different experiences with being a feminist. I think Sam and Lonnie would be part of this movement because in the video game you see words and posters with “patriarchy” written on them or “kicking against the patriarchy, and a comic book titled “Women Outlaws”. As the story continues, you learn that Sam and Lonnie bond over punk rock, grunge, and the Riot Grrrl movement. Lonnie was in JROTC and Sam was surprised that she was going to basic training. She didn’t expect Lonnie to be the type who would follow authority. I believe Sam and Lonnie would both agree with Riot Grrrl manifesto: “BECAUSE we don’t wanna assimilate to someone else’s (boy) standards of what is or isn’t”. Sam’s parents, Janice and Terry, wanted Sam to assimilate to the standards of who a woman should be with and who a woman shouldn’t be with. This proves they believe in traditional gender roles and didn’t want Sam to challenge that.

Audre Lorde (1977), The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action

Audre Lorde opens this piece by saying “I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood” (40). The way I interpreted this quote is to say what you mean and how you feel without feeling guilty of how others may interpret it. Women live their lives scared of how they will be labeled, viewed, and criticized because of what they feel is important. Women are constantly ridiculed for being too “emotional” or being “overthinkers” which may cause women to hide themselves from the world around them. Audre Lorde is saying it’s okay to not be silent. You don’t have to be silent because of your fear of judgement or visibility. In comparison to the video game, Sam couldn’t hide who she was to please her parents. She wouldn’t let them silence her, which led to her packing her things and starting a life with Lonnie. Sam chose to stay true to what was important to her, speak and live her truth. Audre Lorde says,

“But primarily for us all, it is necessary to teach by living and speaking those truths which we believe and know beyond understanding. Because in this way alone we can survive, by taking part in a process of life that is creative and continuing, that is growth”

(Lorde 43).

Lorde’s quote and a piece of the Riot Grrrl manifesto go hand in hand. Riot Grrrl’s manifesto mentioned that doing, reading, seeing, and hearing things from other people who believe in women can help us gain strength and a sense of community. We all must teach and speak our truths if we want society to change its ways. Growth is figuring out sexism, racism, the true meaning of feminism, and much more.

Connection

Bell Hooks “Feminism is For Everybody”, speaks on patriarchy and how men benefit the most from it because men assume they are superior to women. Hooks says,

“In return for all the goodies men receive from patriarchy, they are required to dominate women, to exploit and oppress us, using violence if they must to keep patriarchy intact”

(Lorde IX)

The Riot Grrrl movement set out to reclaim women’s voices and choices from men who deemed themselves in control of women. They are angry at society for looking at them as just “dumb, weak, girls”. This movement tackled sexism in full force and encouraged women to end the patriarchy. We needed movements like this so women would feel comfortable speaking their truths and not sitting in the background of men.

Essay Ideas

1. Beauty and makeup: I have always been deeply interested in all things beauty and makeup since I was younger. This topic has so many layers because beauty and makeup can turn into something complex. It can be damaging, but it can also be empowering. (Cultural Artifact: Beyoncé “Pretty Hurts”)
2. Body Image: A lot of what we see on social media or TV talks about body image and body positivity. Looking deeper, you realize that social media and TV are part of the reasons why people view their bodies in a negative way. There could be other reasons such as family or culture lifestyle. (Cultural Artifact: A Secret Between Friends: A Moment of Truth Movie)
3. Intimate partner violence: This is a very controversial topic for many people. Specifically, violence against women is tolerated and legal in many countries. Intimate partner violence is often looked over and there’s always the question: “What did they do?” “They must have done or said something for their partner to do that”. So many questions, and not enough accountability. (Cultural Artifact: No One Would Tell (1996)

When I first started watching the Gone Home playthrough, I was a little scared there would be a popout or something because I did not know what the video game was about. Throughout the game, I was still a little confused about what was happening, but then I started seeing that it was just a story. In the end, it was revealed that Sam and Lonnie actually ran away. I have never enjoyed video games, so Gone Home was not that interesting to me. Gone Home showed us a possible background story of the Riot Grrrl movement. There were some punk rock albums and   In “Damsel in Distress, Part 1” by Anita Sarkeesian talks about how female videogame characters are often put in revealing clothes and are damsels in distress. I liked how in Gone Home, the photographs in the game were not revealing and there were no damsels in distress. In fact, Katie is the one who begins to piece everything that happened while she was gone, going against the gaming idea that female characters need help. In Gone Home, there is also a lesbian love story. All of these aspects of Gone Home go along with the Riot Grrrl Movement and Audre Lorde’s idea of standing up against sexism, racism, etc.   

“The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action” by Audre Lorde

In Audre Lorde’s text, she makes the claim that women need to speak up because otherwise, they will die without ever speaking up. She states “one way or another we share a commitment to language and to the power of language,” (43) showing that women have to express their thoughts in words and art. They have to stand up through these arts to work towards a changed world. Women have to take “part in a process of life that is creative and continuing, that is growth” (43). Much like the Riot Grrrl Manifesto, Audre Lorde pushes girls to speak up through words and art. Through these actions, women will call out indifferences and push for a world where men and women are equal.  

“Riot Grrrl Manifesto” by Kethleen Hanna

The Riot Grrrl Movement was a feminist punk movement that began in the 1990s. The riot grrrl manifesto was meant to encourage women to speak up and express themselves through music and art. “ We wanna make it easier for girls to see/hear each other’s work” is a quote from the manifesto, showing that they wanted women to share their thoughts, ideas, and envisionings. With this freedom of expression through art, girls were going to “create revolution in our lives” (Hanna). The movement was also for girls to stand up against the men’s standard of what a girl should be, act, and talk like. Much of the movement was around the punk rock idea of “you can do anything,” (Hanna), which encouraged people to make and hear music that could call out racism, classism, sexism, etc. The Riot Grrrl Manifesto was meant to push girls to stand up against challenges and to work to change the world. This feminist movement was meant to go against the female social norms, while also showing that men were equal, not superior or inferior, to females. Much like in “Feminism is for Everybody” by bell hooks “one where they are the equals of men in the workforce and at home when they want to be,” (5) women want to be equal to men. 

Research Essay Topics:

For my research essay, I want to research more on the connections between mental health and gender. Both are topics that are being spoken about more and I believe that a person’s gender and identity can affect how a person feels about mental health. There are many gender inequalities when it comes to mental health. The different social gender expectations are part of this gender inequality in mental health. Possible artifacts could be the show, Normal People directed by Lenny Abrahamson. Another possible topic for my research essay would be specific professions and how social norms assign certain professions to a certain gender. I think this is a good fit because there are multiple of these gender-assigned professions. For example, many believe welders can only be men, and sometimes women in this profession are seen as lesbians, etc. Possible artifacts would be advertisements showing only a certain gender. Many nursing advertisements only include women, and electrician advertisements mainly show men, instead of being more diverse and including all genders.

Check-In

I have been a little stressed and overwhelmed by the amount of work and studying I’ve done these past two weeks. Something that brings me joy is people-watching. It sounds weird and some people may be creeped out by it, but seeing people enjoying their lives reminds me of the little things that matter. Something else is going for a walk in a park or hiking a trail.